So I went online yesterday and made my first order through Take Shape for Life. My program should arrive by this upcoming Friday which is really exciting! It has literally been years since I have even tried the supplements/meals that I am getting so I am really hoping that they are as yummy as they used to be!
Both yesterday and today I have been fighting a migraine, so it has given me a lot of time to sit and think...dream even. I was thinking of what it would feel and be like 90 pounds lighter. Would I look good, or skeletal? I am leaning on the good side naturally. ;)
I thought of my activity level and all the things I avoid because of this 90 pounds. I blame my knees for not running, my boobs for not jumping and my overall body for not swimming. But would I have those same limitations even 40 pounds lighter??
I am not currently facing medical issues like diabetes or anything, but I was also thinking of how much healthier I would feel with that weight gone as well.
I have several WHYs for doing this right now. My confidence and self esteem is a big one. I am a type A personality and have no problems leading and feeling confident in a business situation. But on a personal level there are more days and minutes than not that I feel lacking and insufficient. I want to be in the pictures with friends and family, and then when I see them I wince and wonder, "Do I really want to be in that picture? Can we crop me out?" When I get dressed up to go out and I realize that my options are limited because of fit...ugg, confidence killer.
I got to thinking if I feel this way inside and can still run around and smile and convince the world that I am happy with me, how many others are doing the same thing. How many others are crying inside, struggling to feel beautiful, important, and of worth. I am not saying in any way that I think losing weight solves the worlds confidence issues, but I think it helps us individually see that we can accomplish anything. That we have the inward drive and ability to adjust our lives and make the changes that the world deems as fruitless. I want to do this so that others want to do this. I want to do this so that I can have the internal strength to share my success and help someone else feel better in their own life, on a personal level.
I am not embarrassed to admit that I am a dreamer. I love thinking of the what ifs. But more than dreaming...I love to plan!! More than planning, I love to achieve! I probably seem foolish to a lot of people right now, and I am ok with that, only because I know that 1 month from now, I am not going to look as foolish.
