Lumps in the Frosting

I missed writing last week!  And I was reminded of that several times this week.  It kind of amazes me that people are actually reading this stuff!

This week was just one of those surreal wonders.  You know the ones I'm referring to?  Crazy, fast, emotional, frustrating and at the end of which we turn around and think, did all of that really just happen?  It's bad when this is in one area of your life, but when it is in several, it can be really overwhelming.  That is where I end this week.

To compensate for the craziness of life, I really threw myself into staying as busy as possible.  My theory was that two minute pity parties would not be able to happen if I could not find two minutes to have them in.  But in doing so, I really lost track of time and noticed that I was missing meals, and staying so busy that I was not taking time to plan the way I needed to.  Today when I weighed in, that showed.  My weight was down, which I am happy about, but not as far as I had anticipated.  I really took a look at where I faltered and what I can do better for this upcoming week and then I LET IT GO!

As a mom, wife, woman in general, I think that I put so much expectations on myself, for doing everything and being everything,  And then I wonder why I become so sullen when small things don't go as planned.  I put so much pride in my work, in my family, in my activities and I think that when things don't work, that pride bites me in the behind.

So today, we threw the basics in the car and drove to the coast.  It was GORGEOUS and the best therapy I could have received.  As I laid on the beach blanket (in the sunshine) while my family walked down to the ice water (haha), it gave me some time to really reflect.  I was thinking visually of a track with my least favorite thing, hurdles.  My normal strategy would be to look at those and put in my head how challenging they are going to be and what I am going to need to do, to get over them.  Then I would think about my stride, how to approach, blah blah blah.  It would go on and on!  Nothing however really would get me to getting over the hurdles, except just running towards them and jumping.  And then I thought about when I biff it on a hurdle and the fear and dread set in of having everyone see that failure and wonder what I could have or should have done differently.  It occurred to me though, mid thought, that this was my race, my hurdles and that the only one really invited to help me get over those hurdles was God.  Then another thought came to mind.  All He wants is for me to get up and keep jumping over the hurdles.  Even if I trip over them, all I need to do is just get up and keep moving forward.  The others who choose to watch are probably doing so not to criticize my approach and execution, but to try to rally me to keep running my race.

Do I trip...Anyone and everyone that knows me will attest that YES I DO!! Do you?  My guess is yes.  My take away this week is that we need to just keep running.  Don't slow down to over analyze or avoid the inevitable, just keep moving forward.  Don't let your pride put you in fear of failing.  See your rally team for who they are!  And if your rally team is lacking, focus on the one true invitee to the race.